Alright you guys before you get out your torches and your pitchforks just hear me out:
The way I see it, there are two types of people in this world: Dunks people and Starbs people. Some will argue that there are also people who don’t drink coffee, but honestly that concept is just so foreign to me that I have a hard time recognizing them as people.
10 Undeniable Reasons Dunkin’ Donuts is Better than Starbucks
Massachusetts – ever heard of it? Home of the Boston Tea Party, Midnight Ride, Boston Massacre, and most importantly John Krasinski. Much like the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins, Dunkin Donuts is another powerhouse that reigns from good old MA.
No one in their right mind can argue that Starbucks is a better value than Dunks. At Dunks, a medium iced is a medium ices is a medium iced and no matter what you add to it (with the exception of a Turbo Shot) you will be charged as such. At Starbucks, I think they charge you for how many syllables you utter. “I’d like a Venti Iced Peppermint Mocha” is a lot of syllables and it is definitely reflected in your total. Even if you order a black coffee at Starbucks and add your own cream (like a peasant) it is more expensive than a coffee of the same size prepared the way you actually want to drink it from Dunks.
Not only does a Dunkin Donuts “small” cost less than a Starbucks “tall” but Dunks also gives you more coffee in your cup.
Not only is the cost higher and the volume lower at Starbucks, the coffee is also burnt. I’ve taken to calling the establishment Charbucks because it tastes like a burnt tire that drove through a field of coffee grounds.
The DD Perks app is constantly putting on new deals. Get this for $1 after 2PM. Buy one of these, get one of these half priced. The Starbucks Rewards Program is just that – a rewards program. Starbucks will reward you for going there, but not give you any incentive to go there with any sort of special promotions or deals.
6. Local Deals
Depending on where you are in the country, the DD Perks app also does specials for your local professional sports teams. I love it because, let’s be honest, getting a free coffee after the Patriots win means getting a free coffee almost every week from November to February.
7. Fresh-Baked Treats
Dunkin Donuts bakers get there early in the morning and bake all of the muffins and bagels. Depending on the store, they might bake their own donuts or they might be delivered from their local donut factory to then be filled, frosted, and decorated by the morning baker. Starbucks (food) is all frozen, pre-packaged garbage that they just heat up in a device that’s like a microwave.
Not only is Dunkins’ food actual real, cooked food, its also much carbier and just overall tastier. When I have a coffee I want a muffin, bagel, or donut. I don’t want some weird Spinach and egg wrap thing. I have acid reflux and I feel like that would just give me indegestion. Coffee is acidic, therefore you need something really carby to protect your stomach lining. Trust me.
9. Hot chocolate
Not only is Dunkin Donuts’ hot chocolate exceptionally amazing, they also have FLAVORED hot chocolates and they will put FLAVOR SHOTS in you hot chocolate for you too. Mint Hot chocolate is my favorite, but it’s a seasonal drink, so I will settle for a Hot Chocolate with a Coconut flavor shot for the rest of the year. The Dunkaccino is also a grand beverage invention. It’s a combination of hot chocolate and coffee which is great for if you don’t actually like coffee that much but need caffeine.
I, personally, find Dunkin Donuts employees to be friendlier. Probably because all Starbucks employees are either hipsters or pretentious, but my coffee is always ready a lot faster at Dunks. Dunks seems to have it figured out better where they have people at the registers (managers, usually), people making drinks, and people making food (bakers, usually). This way everyone has their own job and no one is in each others’ way. At Starbucks, the person who takes your order has to go walk around and make your coffee, and then they have to go put your weird spinach wrap in the “microwave” too. Same with the person on the other register, and same for the person working the drive thru. So everyone is constantly in each others’ way, bumping each other, and while they’re holding hot coffee and that just makes me anxious.
I hope this post has enlightened you to the superiority of Dunkin Donuts over Starbucks. If you disagree, I would love to hear your opinion!!